Emotions

While the results today will say, that after a lead out from from Pepe, ‘The Mammoth’ used his power to take an easy win over Dicko and some kid who’s parents have too much money, the real story today is about emotions.

Anxiety
Early tip for the morning was Wazza, who unfortunately was undone psychologically by Marriot within the first 5 min, when his Obsessive Compulsive Disorder got the better of him due to a sneaky route change. The big man never recovered after spending the week visualising the last 5km of the old course.

Fear
A fired up Pepe almost led the bunch into a paddock when he tried to make the turn into Brewery Tap about 200 meters early. This set the tone for some sphincter tightening on the 2km roll competition that Marriott had clearly devised to give his enormous bulk maximum advantage.

Excitement
Everyone was in with a chance this morning in the sprint and it could have been anyone’s until “Crystal Cranks” tried to change gear and managed to strip all the teeth of his rear sprocket, sending members of the bunch hurtling in all directions.

Anger
The “Silver Fox” really let Runge have it when the group arrived at the Lake View, blaming him for the near pileup on the run into the sprint. There was a lot of talk about the youth of today, recklessness and “back in my day”, degenerating into a rant about generally declining moral standards. Expect a letter to the editor of the courier signed off by “Angry from Ballarat” in the coming days.

Passion
After weathering the Watto tirade, and as the majority of the bunch had said their farewells, Runge suddenly became Captain Serious. In what seemed to be some sort of bizarre performance art piece, he stood in front of the whole café, bulbous chamois protruding proudly and proceeded to take his clothes off! Months of frustration were stripped away both figuratively and literally as he shed his layers, all the while ranting about how the ICCC had lost its way.
In a final symbolic gesture, he produced a can of deodorant, spraying it extravagantly. He sprayed to remove the stink of insinuation. Insinuation that:
- He is a tight arse.
- That his one win was a fluke.
- That his knicks are ladies
- That he rides the Kypo so he has a ready-made excuse for his regular failings
- He is a tight arse.
In front of a stunned café crowd, which did troublingly include his family, his attempts to take the high moral ground met with mixed success – what will he try from here?

Postscript
Runge on leaving the lake view was forced to contend with the theft of the wheels from the Kypo – he has offered a modest reward for anyone who has any information that might lead to their recovery.