Great Ugly Cyclists

While the tour was on I was really struck by the Specialized ad with all the gang talking about the one percenters in cycling and how super doper the new Specialized bikes were.

What really caught my eye, was just how aesthetically challenged Ralph Aldag was. As a person sporting a set on wing nuts myself I am 100% empathetic of the predicament one finds themselves in when you ears that are as big as a pair of children’s thongs, but Ralph seemed to be struggling also with a somewhat lopsided face situation. Now it may be that he is suffering from some sort of Bell’s palsy type issue, which if he is I apologise, but it did seem to me that for Ralph it was simply a case of being hit rather severely with the old ugly stick. I did a bit of research from his riding days, and he does not look that bad. Kind of a cross between Jan Ulrich and Frank Vandenbrouke or maybe the lovechild of Der Keiser and Staffi Graff. So for Ralph it was just a case of not aging gracefully.

The above combined with negative remarks about Cadel Evans’ and his cleft chin pixie look, got me thinking about who would be the greatest ugly cyclist to have pushed the pedals?

Given that the old Alpe Du Heuz featured in this years race it was actually a pretty easy choice. Two time winner on the Alpe and third overall in the early 80’s was Dutchman Peter Winnen. He actually kind of had a few of Cadel’s attributes physically, but with red hair and more freckles. That really just about says it all.

Come Ride With Me

I live on King Island which is in the middle of Bass Strait between mainland Australia and Tasmania.

Turns out there is a pretty unique event happening in November, to coincide with the 150 year celebrations for the Cape Wickham lighthouse. It will be a 100k bike ride taking in the three "towns" on the Island. Given that there are only about 1200 people here they are not really big towns.

The ride is 85km tar with about 15 km dirt roads, a couple of good climbs and plenty of undulations. Riders will go from one end of the island to the other. Unique as there is hardly any cars on KI. The event will run in conjunction with an 80k ultra marathon with all participants finishing at the lighthouse at the one time. Pancake breakfast at the start apparently, and sure to be plenty of crayfish, abalone and calamari floating around that evening, not to mention the best cheese and beef in Australia.

Website is www.kingislandlight150.com

And, there is an email bike@kingislandlight150.com.com

I will certainly be having a ride. Here are a few pictures to show you why you should come.

Oh Cadel WTF Have You Done!!!

Its 30 years since I had my first bike race. Back then the only way that you could find out about what was happening in the world of cycling was to get one of the foreign magazines that were available, but these were usually about 3 months old when you got them.

I had two uncles that were racers and they would give me a pile of magazines to take home when I dropped around – they usua

lly slipped in the odd playboy as well which was a bit of a win win for a young fella like me.

There would often be European cyclists at my nan’s house as well as they would get billeted out there when they came across to race the Bendigo Madison and other track events, so I got to meet Danny Clark, Stan Tourne, Tony Doyle and Alan Dipple, and they often spotted me a few bits and pieces and kept me up to date with what was happening.

Phil Anderson was the man and my getting into bikes happened at a time when there was still plenty of blokes riding who had raced with him before he went to Europe. They all said that he was otherworldly in his ability, but he was just another Aussie racer. It gave everyone a bit of perspective that the best in the world were not that much better than the best in Australia when Phil was able to hold his own with guys like Hinault. Suddenly possibilities started to open up for a new generation of cyclists.

Cycling was however still far from a mainstream sport and you copped a lot of shit for riding a bike. I am not sure how many people really had much of an idea of who Phil Anderson was, let alone Allan Pieper.

Once the doors opened however the sport has developed its foothold into something of an hysteria. Neil Stephens, Robbie McEwan, Stuey O’Grady, Brad McGee, Baden Cooke, Simon Gerrans and others have meant that cycling has become part of the mainstream sporting landscape, and this has had the effect of cycling suddenly becoming cool.

Cadel wining the world champs was another big step forward, but the winning of the Tour was what was really going to cement the sport in the Aussie consciousness. No it has happened.

It is almost surreal to me when I think of myself as a 12 year old kid reading black and white magazines, and now reflect on being able to watch the stage last night live with my wife, with non-cycling friends texting me with their positive comments.

Hopefully the guys that paved the way get some reflected recognition from the broader public and some of their great achievements are acknowledged and celebrated by a new generation.

Well done Cadel on a race that you and all cycling fans should be proud of, and thanks everyone else for allowing us to be able to recognize and celebrate this achievement as part of our mainstream culture rather than just as part of esoteric subculture.

Cheers Lads

Cadel - will he win????

Well it would certainly look like it. While I am patriotic there are a number of things that are hard to like about Cadel, but you have to hand it to the boy in the tour so far.

For the record, my guess is that Cadel has Asperger’s syndrome. That’s not meant to be a joke, I really think he does. This means that he does not relate to people in the normal acceptable way. If he was a bloke that worked with you in your office you would think he was a weirdo, but harmless. But he is not an office worker, he is a sporting superstar, even if he is the least charismatic bloke you are ever likely to meet.

He gets shit canned for not riding with “panache”, but I doubt that he even fully understands this concept. He rides in the way that gives him the best chance of winning and plays by the odds. No gambling for Cadel – it’s strictly by the percentages.

In a way mountain biking was a much better match for his temperament than road riding with its esoteric “teamwork” underpinnings. Cadel, I am sure had the comment “happier playing with himself than others” written on his junior school reports. Who else would volunteer to the media that they thought that they were suffering from “Gargoilism”??

So he is about to win the tour – the magnitude of this achievement is pretty unbelievable. For a square peg the likes of Cadel to have reached the pinnacle of the round hole which is road cycling, is testimony to a force of will that exceeds what most of us can comprehend.

Cadel will struggle with the publicity that comes with a win in the tour and in many ways it is a double edged sword for him as it will bring more scrutiny to the clear weaknesses that he struggles with in other areas of his life, but gee what an effort.

World Champion and winner of the Tour de France for an Aspergery kid from Katherine – who would of thunk it.

Racing

So I had my first couple of races for years during the last two weeks. I only had my new/old bike which I had only ridden for about 45 minutes prior to the first race, but as they say in the classics you have to be in it to win it.

Race one was a handicap – which is generally the way it goes in club racing in Australia in the country towns. Basically the a bunch of blokes rock up to a windy wet piece of road in the middle of nowhere and in groups of 3-6 ride their rings off to try and catch the group in front and stay away from the group behind. It is pretty much a team time trial for most of the race until the groups might start to come together near the end.

Back in the good old days (BITGOD), I was a scratch rider meaning I was in the last group to go, but having not raced for 5 years, I was kinda hopeful that I would at least get a chance to settle back into things for a couple of races, but I always say you have to be prepared to take your medicine and that it is not the handicappers fault that you have let yourself turn into a fat sack of poo for the last half a decade, and so if I was put on scratch I was just going to have to suck it up.

They took pity on me and I was put into third scratch. There was just three of us and so I thought we would just cruise along and wait for the groups behind to catch up and then I would be able to see how I was actually going. It was freezing cold and wet – welcome back. I was OK right at the start but once warmed up I was actually going really well. We caught the group in front within 15km and only one of them managed to stay with us. We passed other riders who were not able to stay on and before I knew it we were coming into the last 5km with no sign of anyone behind, and there seemed to be one rider about 500 meters in front. I rode on the front for the whole last 5k and instructed the other guys to let me lead them out for a good sprint. Anyway the guy in front won by 20 meters and we rolled in together behind. Scratch and second scratch were about 1 min 30 secs behind, so even though there ended up being about 8 of them, they only took 3 minutes from us. So back to scratch for me straight away after 1 race, which is kind of good and bad!

The most significant thing about the day was that the club now has a set of proper club rooms with change rooms and all. This led to the situation where I spent 10 min talking to one of the old guys from the club who stood there naked swinging a piece about the size of a babies leg, while I was packing something about the size of what you would use as bait if you were trying to catch a medium size trout, but shit what can you do?

Second race was a scratch race with about 9 facing the starter in A grade. I had done a couple of big rides during the week and felt pretty crap right from the start. I realized a scratch race was going to test me with lots of surging and general carrying on, and I was right. I managed to stay with things easily for the first 2 thirds of the race, but once the attacks started I could not follow strongest couple of blokes – was not far off though.

BIKE

Well I have just returned from 2 weeks on the mainland to sunny (not) King Island, where we discovered that rats had infested the house while we were gone. They actually ate the arse out of a pair of Bec’s nicks, but that’s a story for another time.

My first order of business when I got back to Melbourne was to pick up my Cannondale. True to his word my man had a new cassette there waiting with the bike which I would describe as straight but a little sad. I didn’t stuff around as it was Saturday morning and I had made the call that I was going to race the following day, so I got straight into getting the thing set up. A good clean and things were looking OK. The original ksyrium’s were a little tatty, but they were straight and all spokes seemed OK. I wacked in my seat and post, and the stem and bars I had brought. New bar tape and some lube and we were starting to look OK. I had a pair of new GP4000s tyres to put on, but was pleasantly surprised to see that the rubino pro’s that were on it were almost brand new, so they will come back as training tyres.

Issues seemed to be limited to shagged brake pads and a rattly bidon cage bolt. It really also needs some new cables and a new headset, and I will do these next time I am back on the mainland. But she was looking OK. One drama was that I was sure that the Caad4’s that were threadless were 1 1/8th inch alloy steerer tubes, but mine is 1 inch steel, but a quick whip down to the local bike shop set me up with the right size spacers.

Pumped the tyres up and went for a spin. As expected it was nice and stiff. The original ksyrium ssl’s were pretty harsh and these combined with a stiff frame meant that she was a bit of a bone shaker over rough sections of road, but I don’t mind that. Took about three goes to get everything adjusted right, and a few practice sprints told me we were ready to go. First race for years the next morning.