Pompadillo Dominates BCC 150th Memorial Ride

In a fitting end to a wonderful celebration of school history, part time BCC gardener and maintenance consultant, Pepe “Cipollini” Pompadillo, sprinted to victory in a clinical display of tactical riding during this mornings memorial ride.

The peloton rolled out from the start without last weeks winner Beechey, who it appeared was making the decision to rest on his one victory for the time being. There were also raised eyebrows when it was announced that Watto, after a torrid night of self-pleasuring, was a scratching. Crystal Cranks, who had been asked to give an opinion felt that it was more likely a localised friction burn than a scratch, but he admitted that he was not actually a doctor, so his opinions should be taken with a grain of salt. We can only hope that the “Silver Fox” gives it a rest and is ready to rock again next week – it may all depend on how excited he gets during the usual Tuesday night email correspondence.

So it was a strong and serious group that commenced the drag up Eureka St. “The Fonz” and “Big Ring” Fitzy, set a perfect pace, discouraging attacks and keeping everyone on their toes as they powered up the climb – "Big Ring" happy to chug away in the 53x19 for the duration, sending a strong message that he had some power in that big (but attractive)arse.

The regrouping at the turn showed that fitness was increasing for the group, and this was matched with an air of seriousness as a number of boys seemed to fancy their chances in the sprint today. The roll competition was again fought out by the fat (Marriott) and the affluent (Marriott), but no one really had their heart in it as the main prize beckoned with the turn into Humffray st. “The General” again went early to set the cat amongst the pigeon’s with a sneaky move in front of an oncoming and somewhat startled car driver, but the "Mammoth" made it clear that there would be none of those shenanigans today and he quickly brought the attackulator back to the fold.

A gentleman’s agreement then saw all riders together as the last roundabout was approached. Much jockeying for position occurred on the run into it, with ‘The Fonz” and Pepe both fighting for the prized wheel of the “Mammoth” on the outside while “The General” looked to keep his options open on the inside. “Threshold” Esmonde, Macka "The Ghost” and “Working for Ballarat” Wazza, all found themselves out of position, along, surprisingly with “Crystal Cranks”, who was again let down by his genetic impediment of a club foot, combined with the bunched up chamois in his woman cycling knicks.

Out of the roundabout and “Big Ring” went to work. His awesome power stretched the bunch, leaving Marriott on his wheel followed by a perfectly positioned Pompadillo. At this point things became something of a formality. A last kick by “Big Ring” could not pull him clear and his dying in the arse corresponded with Pepe pointing the Cipollini Saeco Cannondale at the line and hitting the afterburners – the rest, as they say, is history.

With the monkey well and truly off Pepe’s back, the pressure now falls firmly on the winless “General”. Has he shown all his cards, or does the sly dog still have a trick or two up his sleeve? Time will tell.